we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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