Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
