theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
