why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
