Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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