I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
