You work out of a Hotel?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize