i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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