Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
