Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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