Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
