Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
