he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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