omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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