1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
