dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
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