Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize