What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
