the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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