I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you inspire me to be a worse person
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
