Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize