Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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