I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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