apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The air was thick with penises
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
