So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize