omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
