I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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