I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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