I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
