Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
There was a lot of him and a little penis
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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