Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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