i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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