If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
