I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
