I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
