I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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