Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
