if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
