I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
