I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
