I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
