we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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