I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
