Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
