on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So much rum. So many feels.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
