dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
