my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
