forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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