At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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