do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
