its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
