Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
