Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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