Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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