Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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