You work out of a Hotel?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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