At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize