He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
