I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize