My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize