What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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