we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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