Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize