Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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