'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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