I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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