It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The best revenge is premature balding
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
