And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
